Friday, June 29, 2012

Willpower Needed

You know, I can't believe how well I have actually been keeping up with this. Usually by now I've fallen off the wagon and avoided exercise completely on most days. Now I'm thinking ahead as to what work-out I will do tonight. One problem is creeping up on me though. PMS!!! I'm sooooooo hungry and want to eat everything in my house at that time of the month. Willpower, I need willpower! I'm taking my kids to a movie tomorrow. Last weekend my daughter and I went to one and I brought a bottle of water and ate some nachos. I managed to avoid the popcorn. This time I don't know if I can! I was thinking of sitting a seat away from them to be far away from the popcorn, but my daughter and I usually share the nachos. That's right! I'm gonna eat nachos! I promise I will share with her though and I will stay away from the popcorn (because if I say it, maybe I'll do it). Willpower!

I need to go shopping this weekend and buy a gel bike seat. My butt is recovering from my ride the other day. I figure if I get a gel seat I will just keep riding my sons' bike for now until I decide (or can afford) to get one of my own.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

My Ass Hurts!

I rode a real bike for the first time in 18 years tonight. I thought it would be easy, but then I thought I was going to die! Okay maybe not die, but I felt like vomiting when I got home. I only rode 2.8 km (1.8 miles). I rode my sons' bike, I think I need the seat a bit higher because the top of my thighs were hurting a bit too. My ass hurts!!! I will first need to buy a gel seat. I definitely can't afford a bike right now though.

I feel good today. I am sure I will lose something this week as long as I don't have any crazy days. Maybe I shouldn't be weighing in on Monday's. After all, the weekend is usually when we cheat. On the other hand, maybe it's better that way.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I Felt Good Today

OMG! I made the best egg salad I have ever made today. Who am I kidding? I have never made a good egg salad before. It's usually pretty plain. Hence, since I enjoyed what I ate, I felt great about my "food" day. AND my 30 minutes on the Gazelle felt good too! I didn't want to stop until the last five. Hopefully soon I'll be able to add more time!

Recipe time!!!

My Favorite Egg Salad (So Far)

6 large eggs, hard boiled
60g celery, chopped
15g green onion (greens only), chopped
4 tbsp Miracle Whip Light
1 tsp yellow mustard
Salt & Pepper to taste

Note: Do not over cook the eggs. The centre should be a little moist still.

Combine ingredients in mixing bowl. Use pastry blender to cut and blend the mixture.

Makes 4 servings of approx 100-105g each  (the weight below is incorrect)

Monday, June 25, 2012

Utter Dissapointment

"Sad face" as my kids would say. I mean it is my own fault after all. My weight today was 219.2 again. So I didn't lose but I didn't gain. I must work harder!!! Those two days with my friends and then two days of no exercise were my down fall. I will have to try to space my social commitments better.

I am considering buying a bike. Problem is I don't really have the money to do so. I'm trying to make myself say "who cares" and just go buy it anyway. There's one for $60.00 on Kijiji. But I need to make sure I have enough money for groceries and I'm trying not to overspend so that I can afford to take my kids on a small vacation this summer. I actually feel sick to my stomach when I think about what I should do. On one hand, I know I need to go home tonight and look at my finances to see if I can do it. On the other hand, by then the bike may be sold. I wish it wasn't like this. I really need to get my finances to lose some weight too!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

It's Not a Diet

I did both my workouts today. I briefly considered skipping the second one but I didn't. Good thing, because I may have gone a few calories over my limit today as I cooked pre-made stuffed portobello mushrooms for dinner so I didn't have an accurate calorie count for them.

I realized today that I don't feel like I'm on a diet. I really don't feel deprived. It would call it choices to eat better, and eat less of the bad stuff, but I can still eat the bad stuff if I want to. I just choose to eat less of it. And it's great!

Two Days Without Exercise

It was my second day without exercise.  I slept in this morning (June 23), then took my daughter to a movie in the afternoon.  When we got home I should have done something but I didn't.  Then I cooked dinner, logged my day so far and then went to a friends' house for a Tupperware party.  I got home way later then expected and there is no way I'm going to exercise now.  I do plan to do two workouts tomorrow for sure then.  I will do the Wii Fit and Gazelle.  Food wise I was on track so I'm not going to be too discouraged right now.

I have inherited a treadmill.  I just need to get it home.  I would ultimately like to start running.  Maybe I'm crazy, but it's exercise!  I was looking at the couch-to-5k program and it looks somewhat do-able.  I'm just not sure when I will be able to get the treadmill because I will definitely need some muscle to get it into my vehicle and into my basement.  I'm looking forward to it though. :)

Friday, June 22, 2012

Uh oh!

I probably went about 300 calories over my limit today and no exercise. I did have a good evening with good food and just a couple of drinks with a friend though.

I have exercised for 11 days in a row before tonight so I actually feel guilty. Truthfully though, my ankle could probably use a rest as it was hurting yesterday and today as I have tendinitis. Tomorrow I'm thinking I might do both workouts but we'll see!

Short and sweet tonight as I need to hit the hay! G'night!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Positive Feelings. . .For Now

I just had a great workout on my Wii-Fit.  I felt good the whole time.  Maybe I felt better because the little line went down today giving me a positive feeling! Yay! BUT. . .

Tomorrow I have plans to go to a friends' house after work so our kids can play and we're supposed to have take-out. D'oh! There is a salad that we love (with feta cheese) that we will have.  I guess that's so-so healthy.  And then we're getting KFC for the kids.  Eeeeeek! How will I resist that?!?!?  I must find a healthy choice to sneak in at KFC since I don't want to share that I'm trying to lose weight.  We will also be having booze!!! That little line on the Wii Fit is gonna go up, up, up again.  Not to mention that I will have no exercise time and I haven't taken I day off yet. Nooooooooooo!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Shoe Therapy

I was feeling a little down last night.  I had spent most of the day feeling hungry even though I'm sure I ate the same amount as always.  Maybe it was because I stuffed myself the day before when I went out with my friend and my stomach was expecting more food again. 

I chose to do the Wii Fit as I needed a switch and I took the body test to test my balance as I do each time I use it.  While I didn't view my weight, it still showed me the little line graphing my BMI. . .and it went UP.  For some reason I felt defeated for the rest of the evening.  I know that weight fluctuates during the day and I had eaten out the day before so I expected it but somehow it still discouraged me.

I solved my down mood with some online retail therapy. Just a new pair of runners, but I felt better after.  This journey could get expensive! 

Today was better.  Still feeling extra hungry.  I'm drinking the water to try to fill me up to discourage snacking, but I've been snacking none-the-less.  At least I've avoided anything too bad.  If anyone is reading this and has some advice, please offer it.  I wish there was some kind of pill to take to take the edge off hunger!

I did my gym orientation at work today.  There is an Apollo four-station gym, ellipticals, treadmills, dumbbells, and spin-cycles.  I really want to try spinning but they don't offer classes or anything.  I'm not brave enough to face a public gym on my own to go to a class.  Right now I'm trying to find an online guide for starters or if I could find a video I could download to my iPod that would be great.  I'll keep looking!  First I have to be brave enough to go though.

I did the Gazelle tonight and felt like it was a good workout.  My legs feel like they're getting toned already.  Maybe it's my imagination!

Anywho, time to sign off for the night! ~TTYL

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

It was a good bad day

I was so bad, but it was so good!!!

I actually didn't totally blow my calorie intake yesterday or at least not as bad as I thought I was going to. My goal is 1700 or less calories per day and yesterday I reached 1948.

I did manage to get a half hour in on the Gazelle when I got home but I would definitely say that I had to push myself to make it through. I wanted to stop so badly after twenty minutes. Today I think I am just going to do some time on the Wii Fit as that is more like fun so in some ways easier to do. I also have my gym orientation at work tomorrow so that I will have more options available for working out if I choose. I'm a little self conscious about working out with other people around but seeing as how I've actually been motivated lately, maybe I will notice less. I'm not sure if I can keep this up, but for now I'm still not letting myself stop.

Monday, June 18, 2012

My Big Fat First Weigh-In

It's the day I have been impatiently waiting for. The day that tells me that my efforts are being rewarded. And the number is. . .[drum roll please]. . .219.2!!! That's 5.8 pounds, yay me! I wish every week could be this productive but I know it won't. Week one is always the best. I would like to lose at least two per week.

Today is also the day I've been waiting for because I'm going out to dinner with one of my best-friends since high school. We are going to our favorite restaurant. My favorite items are very calorie and fat filled but I was looking at the nutrition guide on-line and really everything is the same. So I will order as best that I can and I will enjoy it and hopefully I will still have time to burn a few calories when I get home. I can't believe I am actually concerned that I might not get to exercise! This is so not me!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Day Six

By the time I post this it will be after midnight, but for me it's still today.

Not only did I do Wii Fit for 40 minutes (10 minutes yoga + 30 minutes other stuff) but I also did the Gazelle for 30 minutes this evening. Can you believe that? Me, who never exercises actually exercising twice? I can't believe it myself! I worry though. I worry that I'll skip a day, then not want to do it the next day either, and so on.

I know exercise is supposed to get easier the more often you do it but I was surprised that I barely broke a sweat tonight on the Gazelle. I will do it the same tomorrow and if I barely sweat again I might start some weight resistance.

Tomorrow is one week. I am proud of myself for getting through one week without feeling too much like heading in the wrong direction. That's why I prefer portion control because I can still eat what I want and not worry if it's unhealthy. Everything in moderation so I don't snap and eat everything all at once!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Just Me

I guess it's time to tell you a little about me. I am a female in my mid 30's, but I'm sure you already figured out that I was a girl.

I've never been the "skinny" girl. I was always sure I was overweight, but when I look back at my childhood pictures I don't think I really was. I just happened to weigh more than my "skinny" friends. Even through high school I weighed more and was about 160 pounds when I graduated. Now I would love to be that "thin". Right after high school I got together with the guy that I am currently with, it was comfortable, secure, and I was up to 180. Now that's just a goal weight for me.

I have two kids and stayed around 180 after both pregnancies, but started to gain after. Up, up, up I went, eventually reaching 220.  In 2006 I decided that it was time to lose some weight. I bought a food scale and concentrated on portion control. With no exercise I lost 40 pounds and got down to 180. Then I stopped. And up, up, up I went again.

Eventually I hovered around 220 and more recently I just stopped caring all together and ate anything and everything I wanted. I knew it was bad but I really didn't care at all. I can blame it on stress and emotions. . .but should I? It just sounds like an excuse and I don't want to make excuses. So there I was this past Monday suddenly deciding it was the day to get my ass in gear. And I weighed in at 225.

So here I am today, two sleeps away from my week in weigh in.  I'm am actually nervous to step on that scale.  I am sure I must have lost something, but I am scared to see the results.  Will they encourage me? Or discourage me?  All I know is right now I'm in the right place.  I actually want to play on my Wii Fit.  So I think I'm going to do that now.  TTYL!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Wheeeeeeee! (Or I should say Wii)

Just managed 21 minutes of Wii Fit last night. By the time I hunted down batteries for the balance board and then started a new profile, I didn't have much time. Life gets in the way sometimes especially when I procrastinate all evening. It was fun though. I think I'll do it again, although I want to Gazelle tonight.

Did you hear that?!? (Or read that I guess). I just said I want to Gazelle!!! That is an accomplishment as far as I'm concerned because I never want to exercise. Yay!

I know, it's only day five and I am so fighting to keep myself on track.  It's not like me wanting to exercise is going to continue, but it did feel good to realize that I did.

I'm posting this early so I might come back and do another post later.  And I think that I might be ready to share a little bit about me soon but I'm not sure where to start.  ~Just Me

And I'm back!

It seemed easier tonight on the Gazelle. I guess the day off from it was good for me. My knees hurt a little bit, but it didn't seem as long even though I still did only 30 minutes.

I'm off to park my ass on the couch and watch some ER DVD's. We've been slowly working our way through the seasons when we have time. TTYL!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I Ate Chips Today!

I ate chips today and they were so yummy!!! It was a small bag, 200 calories, and I don't even feel guilty.  I didn't eat the pita bread I took for my lunch so it really added only an extra 70 calories to my day.  I have a dinner "date"next Monday with my best friend so I need to be good until then because I'm sure I'll blow it all that day.  We are going to our favorite restaurant so I will be bad.

So this Gazelle thing I've been exercising on is "no impact", you basically just swing your legs, but my knees were really hurting last night.  I am going to take the night off.  I might drag out the Wii Fit if I can get my ass in gear because I worry that if I take the night off I may never get going again.  It would be so easy just to not do anything at all.

By the way, back to my chips. . .they were Ketchup chips. I love ketchup chips!!! If you are reading from the US, you have to try them sometime, I don't think they have them there. Om nom nom.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My Big Fat Day...well, you get the point.

Wow, was that ever a boring post. I'd like to make it more interesting, but I don't really have much to say so far.

I did do 30 minutes on the Gazelle again yesterday and another 30 minutes tonight. It's easy once you're on it but I definitely have to talk myself into it.  I can sit on the couch and watch TV or I can watch it while I exercise. Easier said then done though.  I hate that I'm so lazy!  We have a small gym at work so today I asked for an orientation so that I can use it if I ever get ambitious enough.  The equipment is up-to-date and well maintained and there is no cost to use it so I figure I should give myself the option.

I'm still eating well, but it is only day three. Today I did feel hungry for the first time.  That could certainly be my downfall.  I fought through it with just a small bowl of Jell-o.  I do still need to work on drinking more water when I'm feeling like that.  Hopefully to take the edge off.

As I said above, I know this is not an exciting blog so far, and I don't know that it will ever be.  I do plan on sharing some of my feelings and some insight as to how I let myself get to this weight.  I am sure that many people have been in the same place as myself and could relate.

Until next time. . .

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

My Big Fat Day Two (Actually a Summary of Day One)

Last evening I actually got my big, fat, unmotivated ass off the couch and did something that I didn't plan on. . .exercise! I thought about going for a walk, although I'm not sure where to head if I ever do go. It was raining and cold so that wasn't going to happen anyway. I dug out the Tony Little Gazelle that is in my basement and "walked" for 30 minutes during the second period of the Stanley Cup game. 260 calories.

I had a pretty good "food" day yesterday as well. We had tacos for dinner.  I used ground turkey and put mine in a pita instead. It was nummy! I didn't eat a whole lot yesterday though as I find I don't eat as much when I'm off work, but when I'm at work I want to eat constantly. I will try to bring healthy snacks but if I eat too many it isn't going to help with the calorie counting.  Today I limited myself to two oranges after a pita filled with salad for lunch.

I know, how boring can a blog be? I'm surprised actually because it looks like someone read my first post.  Well, maybe they skimmed it by, I'm guessing that mostly I'm writing to myself though.

Oh, something you should know about me.  I have a slurpee addiction.  7-11 slurpees in Canada are way better than US slurpees.  American slurpees are infused with air, Canadian slurpees are not.  It is my one vice that I will not give up for this.  I drank a slurpee every day when I lost the 40 pounds I mentioned in the previous post, so no reason I can't do it this time.  I am trying to be ambitious enough to at least walk to 7-11 but it's a half hour each way.  I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen, at least not today.

Goal (should I make another?)
Physical activity again. . .tonight

Monday, June 11, 2012

My Big Fat Day One

Well, here I am. 225 pounds, the heaviest I've ever been.  I have no motivation to lose it.  That's what sucks.  I would still rather eat ice cream and steak and pasta and chocolate. I would like to think that if I write about it, maybe it will help me to get to it. Probably not.

Today I have logged in to Calorie Count (  I have used this site in the past.  About five years ago I lost 40 pounds just by tracking what I ate and portion control.  But I have a saying...I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and deprivedThis is why I am hoping I can at least convince myself to control my portions. Also, I should drink a glass of water when I feel like snacking. Hopefully that will fill me a bit and make me want a snack less.

Goals (pretty simple ones I hope)
1) Pay attention to what I'm eating
2) Drink water
3) Keep writing to myself as a reminder of what I'm supposed to be doing

I'd say wish me luck, but it would probably make more sense to wish me willpower.