Saturday, October 4, 2014

Another Detour

Last week was pretty good.  This week, not so much!  It's a reminder of how hard it can be to start a weight loss journey.  

It's so easy for people to judge another person for being overweight but they don't realize what actually losing weight requires.  If you're not mentally in the game then it's far easier said than done.  

My biggest peeve, and maybe I have said it before, is people who used to be overweight themselves looking down on someone who is overweight now.  Maybe their own weight loss journey was easier, or maybe they forget how long it took them, and maybe they forget that they had some struggles along the way.  It's not easy.  If it was easy then there would be far less overweight people.  It has huge mental involvement, and just because they did it doesn't mean the next person is ready to tackle the same challenges that they did.

Okay, that was an unplanned rant!  I only hope that I can find a better mental place soon so that I can continue my journey.  I may be stalled but I want to go forward and not slide backwards down that hill.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Damage, Redone

I have failed you!  I have failed me!  I fed the stress, I fed it a lot!  The sad part is that I had the will power to not feed the stress but I made the choice to feed it anyway.  Yes, it made me feel better for that moment, but it did not solve the problem.  The result, I'm right back where I started three weeks ago.

I continue on this downward spiral and I fully understand the emotional connection people have to food.  

Once upon a time. . .just kidding! My previous job was extremely stressful and I ate ALOT.  When I started my new job four years ago, it was far less stressful and for probably the first time, I could leave work smiling.  After a while I decided it was time to lose weight and I did it because I had the time to dedicate to eating properly and less stress resulting in less comfort eating.  Then I switched to a new position and initially I struggled with my eating habits.  I was stressed, I had no time to eat regularly while I was at work, so I went through a bad period.  Things settled as I learned my new job, and I was able to continue my journey.  Now the stress has hit the fan. Despite my best effort to try to stay "relaxed" as soon as my stresser shows up I find myself in a very bad place again and it's happening every day lately!  I eat!  And I eat more!  
So once again I am approaching Monday and planning on conquering the week.  I plan to eat well and maybe even start exercising again. . .I believe this week we will finally be getting back into our regular routines so hopefully that can lead to some normalcy.  I wish me luck!!!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Weekend Update

This post is actually from my first week back. . .I forgot to publish it last weekend!

The work week started off with a saboteur!  An innocent co-worker put a bag of six homemade peanut butter cookies on my desk on my first day back from vacation.  I had 220 emails to go through and I ate the cookies!   They were there, I was hungry, I was stressed, and I couldn't stop.  Okay, not couldn't, wouldn't.  Damn!
I did much better for the remainder of the week including a department lunch at a BBQ restaurant.  I was able to keep my calorie intake at reasonable amounts.  I was conscious of keeping my fluid intake to at least two litres per day (8 cups) helping my stomach to think it was full.

Yesterday, Saturday, was a bit tougher.  I tend to eat bad foods on the weekend but still try to stay in check.  T.o.m. should be visiting so not eating everything in the house was a challenge.  I did it though and despite being a pretty lazy day, I broke even on calories.

Which bring us to today.  Two pounds down, four to go.  This is okay especially because of T.o.m's visit.  If I can lose another two this week, and two more the week after then the holiday damage will be undone.
We did go pick out and pay for a new mattress set, which will arrive next weekend.  I hope that will help with my tiredness issues.  Also, lack of sleep raises cortisol levels, which can also lead to overeating.  (See post Stress Eating Does Exist.)  Here's hoping!

Monday, September 1, 2014

September 1, Here We Go Again

169.6. . .Oops!  Not oops, really.  I knew what I was doing and set September 1st as my end date.  I have not run since July 19th and I have been on vacation for the last two weeks so I have been carefree.  Starting today it is time to care again.

It's hard though.   Since I've been back from my trip I have been feeling my tired-achy-self again. We visited my sister, her husband, and their new babies in Vancouver.  While I was there I got up early, washed baby bottles, made breakfast, prepared dinner in the slow cooker a few times, and took my kids out for a while during the day; and I felt good.  Since I've been back I am back to horrible sleeps, not wanting to get up, and sore achy joints again.  And the dread of returning to work tomorrow.  (As I'm sure everyone wishes, I wish I didn't have to work!)
The first solution to this is to buy a new bed.  Hopefully this will alleviate the horrible sleeps and some of the achy joints.  The second solution has to be to get moving again!  I had far less trouble with my achy hips when I was running.  I am hoping the return to behaving myself will not be too difficult as I feel like I am in the right mind-set right now.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Lazy Mode

Still lazy. Well, mostly I'm tired. Always tired.  I even made a concious effort to bring my vitamins to work only to forget to take them.  Maybe if I start taking vitamins again it will help the energy level.  I don't know.

I was really good all week with food and self control. . .until Friday.  We went out for dinner and I ordered the best option for dinner, but I did share an appetizer and desert.  It wasn't a horrible day but I did go over my calorie intake.  I went over again on Saturday when we went out for poutine.  It was totally worth it though.
So then I decided.  It IS maintenance now.  I have been there for a long while now and losing 65 pounds is impressive in my own mind.  I am happy with that and not willing to make a larger effort to lose any more.
I do want to run again, if I ever get my ass in gear.  However, although I haven't quite made it down to 160, I'm okay with that, because it seems this is where my body is supposed to be.
That doesn't mean you have seen the last of me.  I still plan to pop in from time to time.  I do have holidays coming up in a couple of weeks, so you know damage will be done.  I will certainly need to come back to fix that mess!!!

Monday, July 28, 2014

Color Me R. . .Bad

Oh my! I've been bad.  Not only have I not visited to tell my stories, but I really have been bad.  I haven't even told you about Rad!

I never did make it to 5K.  The furthest I made it was to 1.75 miles.  That was five days before Rad.  

Rad arrived and thankfully a few of the people in the group I was in planned to run too.  (My partner had not trained and decided to walk with an injured group member.)  We ran where we could (the color stations bottle necked a bit so there were brief walking periods) and then, just before the 1/2 way point, I caught up to a co-worker who was walking with her daughter.  I walked a little with her then we ran, walked, and ran again. At the end, one person that had run with me said that I inspired her to run because if I was running she figured she should be too. :)

It's been downhill since then.

The whole week after I didn't exercise and I ate crap.  All those bad things that I may normally have in moderation, were not in moderation.  All those bad foods, yup, ate them too.  Pizza, wings, burgers, fries, nacos; that's what I did to myself.

And guess what?  Eating crappy leads to feeling crappy.  

I began to behave again yesterday.  I still felt bloated and icky this morning.  I ate well today and thought about running tonight but I was tired and fell asleep after supper.  I really need to go run soon though, but it's hard to motivate myself now that there isn't an end goal in sight.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

104ºF: A Problem and a Solution

They say there are two seasons where I live:  Winter and Construction.  Winter brings snow and minus forty wind-chills (sadly minus forty is the same in Celsius and Fahrenheit).  Construction season brings rain and/or 40ºC (104ºF) temperatures.  And mosquitos, don't forget the mosquitos!

Today there was actually a heat advisory due to the temperature and humidity (along with a very short lived tornado warning).  How is one to run outdoors in these conditions?  I have two weeks before Color Me Rad and I need to be able to run outside for longer than five minutes.  I don't want to run on the treadmill because I can already run 5k on the treadmill.  I want to run on the pavement to get ready.
Then the solution came to me.  An indoor track!  So I found one at a recreation centre that is not too far away.  They charge for admission by day and you don't have to be a member.  Perfect!  Plus it has a pool so I was able to take my daughter and her friend and they went swimming while I went for a run.  After my run I quickly showered then went into the pool for a short while.  I am actually looking forward to going there again sometime!  12 laps equal one mile so I was able to better measure my distance.  I did two 3/4 mile runs (jogs) in place of the two eight-minute runs (jogs) as per the Couch to 5k app.  And it was great!