Food

Food. . .food is my enemy.  I'm sure every person trying to lose weight has said this at one time or another.  I am saying it now.  I cannot seem to curb the hunger lately.  I am always hungry!  (Yes, I know only "bad" food should be considered the enemy, but this is how I feel at this very moment so I am going with this feeling for now.)

I started thinking today that maybe this is the weight I am meant to be at.  That this is the weight that my body is comfortable with.  I got down to 170 without feeling deprived but if I expect to get lower then maybe it would require more changes that I am not willing to make.  For now, I plan to do my best to fight my urges and not give in.  I know that other people who are in to major fitness and/or diet would think I am not trying hard enough, not putting enough effort in, but to me, it was never about putting a lot of effort in (call me lazy).  It was about making enough changes to get where I needed myself to be and quite frankly, I am here.

I am not giving up, I am not taking a break.  This journey is not over.  I will continue to wherever it leads me.

No One to Blame Except Myself

I have not been on my best behavior this week.  I have made bad choices, but I have done my runs.  Sunday I will run again. 

I, alone, made these choices.  I cannot blame anyone.  I cannot place blame on anything that has been brought into my environment.  I made the choice to eat it.  I was much better at choosing right in the beginning.  Lately though, I have been allowing myself to choose wrong.

It's much of the same-as-always, I know.  I cannot guarantee anything more exciting to read.  This is how the journey goes.  It's not always a smooth ride, but you cannot give up, you cannot throw in the towel.  You have to look at tomorrow as a new start.  It is a new day and you can make completely different choices.  You CAN choose to have more good days then bad.

Still my favorite!

What Was I Thinking?

It was a pretty good first week even if I did only lose one pound.  I mean who commits to losing weight the week before PMSing?!?  Me, that's who!

I did really feel good getting back in to running last week, and I'm looking forward to week two!  However Monday kicked my ass so I postponed running until today.  Then today we had no water and no power so we went out for dinner, no run!  Grrrrrr!  Really, I'm looking forward to it though.  Tomorrow, Friday, Sunday.  That's the plan!

Not much to say tonight but I really agree with this:

 

I Feel Good!

I feel good!  {Insert James Brown here}  Second run and I am amazed at how good I feel after.  Not physically good, but mentally good.  I am looking forward to run number three.

The part that does not feel good is my foot.  I changed insoles but I could still feel some discomfort in my foot while I was running.  I am feeling some pain now as well.  I will not give up, but I am upset that after wasting eight weeks resting my foot, it appears to still be a problem.  However, unless the pain becomes constant I will keep going.

Short and sweet tonight as I have nothing else to report!  Have a good night!

I Can Do It

"Day one" was easy.  Hopefully to be followed by an easy day two, three, four, five, and so on.  And I ran! Well, actually, jogged, but to me that's running.  I had some numbness in my toes while I was running, but no pain.  I am trying to be very conscious of how my foot hits the ground but I will try my other insoles next time to see if it helps. I also refused a very-yummy-looking cupcake!  To me, this was a huge indication of my readiness as I had no regret and no temptation to go back for it. 

Tonight (day two) I do have some pain in my foot.  I am praying that it is some sort of residual pain and that it doesn't worsen like it did when I injured it.  I want to run!  If I can't run I will be devastated.  I know that sounds drastic, but I really want to do it!

I still feel confident that I am ready to continue my journey.  I can't let anything stand in my way.  I want to succeed, I need to succeed.   I want to be the best me I can be!!!

Another Day One

Yes, that's right, Monday will mark another day one.  This time it's serious.  It is time to get back into the swing of things.  I have seen how easy it was to be bad again, especially this last week.  I was super bad.  I'm ready. . .

I'm ready to be good again!

It's going to be hard.  I have been letting myself eat what I want, when I want to.  I have to be strict on myself and stick to the good stuff.  Lately, I just want to eat all the time.  I see some struggle in my near future.

Here is the most important part.  I'm gonna run.  Please, please let my foot be healed!  It feels okay and I plan to start slow so that I won't re injure or aggravate it again.  I am hoping that running is the solution to all of it!

I really hope the next time you hear from me that I will have good news to share.  If this doesn't work I am pretty confident that I will be feeling devastated.  I realize that "devastated" sounds extreme, but I really do believe that running is going to help put me back on the proper path.

And hopefully this will be the last "day one" I ever tell you about!!!

What Happens When I Eat Bad?

What happens when I eat bad?  A fantastic question!

I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm irritable.  I'm starting to get achy hips again.  Okay, all those things are actually quite normal for me, but I am sure they are more frequent and prevalent now.  I'm emotional!  Yes, I have always been an emotional person who cries easily, but it's waaaaaay worse now then it was when I was being good.

I have no doubt that my food choices contribute to these feelings but this is the part where I believe the exercise helps. . .I know I have said that you don't have to exercise to lose weight because I have lost weight without exercise. However, not only does the exercise help with losing weight but it helps me feel better overall.  As hard as I find it to run sometimes (my totally insane exercise of choice) it really does uplift me.  Look anywhere online and it will tell you: physical activity helps to elevate your mood.  Even if it's just a small amount of exercise.

SO. . .I'm not running, causing me to be tired, cranky, and irritable, therefore leading me to bad food choices, which in the circle of things make me feel tired, cranky, and irritable!  Ah-ha!  So when I run (exercise) I feel better about myself, therefore leading me to make better food choices so as not to undo the hard work I just did! 

We know I'm still going to eat the bad stuff but remember my favorite line: Everything in moderation.

I'm not sure that any of that actually makes sense, but what I am hoping is that once I return to running and eating better that all these things will go away!  Well, maybe they won't go away, but rather occur less frequently or less prominently.