I'm a Horrible Blogger/The Same Three Pounds

I'm a Horrible Blogger

I have been meaning to post for days. . .weeks really, but I get distracted doing something else and forget. That makes me a horrible blogger.

The Same Three Pounds

I was doing good. Never great, but good. I was talking myself out of those bad (food) decisions. And then I spiralled and I gained back the three pounds I had lost. 

So I lost them again, and then I gained them again.

Monday, I weighed in at exactly the same weight as I did when I started this on April 9th. Two months wasted. I know, I shouldn't think about it this way, but I could have been eating all the crap I wanted instead of going through this lose it/gain it cycle.

I am not ready to stop trying.

I will keep going. This isn't even a re-start, it's a continuation of my journey.

Once in a While

I have been doing great!

Until today.

I fell apart today.

You know what? It happens. I am not going to beat myself up.

Sometimes I recognize that I am not going to win the battle, and it's okay. Today I chose to give in to temptation rather then make myself miserable trying to fight. Why would I do that? It's just ONE day. Tomorrow is a new one and a new chance to get back on track and continue my healthier lifestyle. 

This journey will never be over. Even if I achieve a goal weight, there will always be bad days. What matters is that on most days I win the day.

Let's Talk About Moderation

I had ice cream today.

Why? Because I believe moderation is okay. Or at least it works for me.

I have the rest of the day ahead of me, so that just means I may have to make different choices later. That may mean a salad with dinner instead of a potato, or a smaller portion of something perhaps.

I had the ice cream at home where I could control the portion. One portion.

Let's talk about moderation. It may not work for everyone, but it works for me. If I want something "naughty", I have it, but I control my portions. For example, if the nutritional information says one serving equals one cup, I only eat one cup.  

If I want chocolate, I have chocolate. . .I may just eat 1/2 of the chocolate bar or have one piece of chocolate. If I want potato chips, I eat potato chips. . .I just have one serving. The best thing I own is a digital kitchen scale, then I can measure just one serving.  Moderation is key, if I deprive myself I feel like I will eventually snap and binge.

Yes, yesterday I denied myself ice cream, but I still had to look at the rest of the day and where I was in my daily goals. I had already had some "treats" so I couldn't "afford" anymore.

For me (and probably many other people) losing weight is in my head. Right now I am winning, but every day is a struggle. Every day that I can win against myself is one step closer to reaching my goals.

Me vs Me

Have you ever had an argument with yourself? I can't be the only one. They're usually quick. A decision is made and it's over. However I just had one for about 45 minutes while I drove my son across the city and came back home by myself.

ME: I’m hungry.

ALSO ME: No, you are not.

ME: I wonder if there’s an ice cream place somewhere on my route.

ALSO ME: You don’t need ice cream.

ME: Well, there’s a Dairy Queen on the way back, maybe I could go there. No one would know.

ALSO ME: I would know!!!

ME: I wonder if that place at The Forks is still open this late.

ALSO ME: No, it’s too late, it’s either closed or getting ready to close.

ME: I could just go check.

ALSO ME: I’m totally not paying for parking to check if it’s still open.

ME: Fine, where else could I go? There’s one if I take another route home, also probably closing soon, but they only take cash.

ALSO ME: {Checks pocket for change at red light} Ha! Not enough money, you/I have foiled your idea!

ME: {Still driving home} I wonder what that new place is that I heard about, I wonder if it’s an ice cream place.

ALSO ME: That’s totally out of the way, I am not checking.

ME: BUT I burned extra calories today.

ALSO ME: Yes, but how about I go for the calorie deficit! I have been doing so well for the last few days. Deficits leads to weight loss and I want to lose weight!

So I went home. No ice cream. The reasonable me won. Phew.

I'm Still Here

Struggling.

More so then I remember from previous occasions when I have managed to take off those extra pounds.

NOT stopping.

Every day is a new day. Tomorrow is a fresh chance to start again.

DON'T GIVE UP!

I got groceries today because I seem to do my best when I have lots of choices. Or at least that worked before I fell off the food wagon.

Oh, I didn't just fall off the wagon, I'm pretty sure I set that thing on fire as well!

Currently we have been keeping up with regularly scheduled walks though. I also did one solo-walk last week, I need to do more of those. One step at a time.

Are you following me? Are you struggling too? Please, don't give up. Just try to be a better you tomorrow. 

In Progress

La, la, la, la, la, la, la!
-The fat lady singing

I wrote that on Saturday, after the Jets lost. Our season is officially over and since I don't have any teams to cheer for in the playoffs it should be easier to stay on track. See? I found the bright-side!

Anyhow, on to the post!

The weekend was not a smashing success, but that's okay. I must have consumed at least two days worth of food for Easter yesterday. The important thing to note is that it's okay to indulge occasionally. There's no reason to restrict yourself on holidays or special occasions. You just need to do your best to stay on track all of the other days and not let one day turn into twelve.

Activity wise, my cousin has been motivated by our flexible walking schedule. This week should prove to be a bit of a challenge because of us having plans on opposite days, but I think it should work out. I should add some more activity myself, but I'm not there yet. Much of my weight loss  involves mental obstacles (I think it's like that for many people), I can't even describe it. Again, I will say this. . .one step at a time. Progress is progress, no matter how small.

You Don't Have to Be Great

You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
- I'm sure that's a quote from someone, but I have no idea who.

Last week may not have been perfect (okay, it was far from perfect), but all that matters is that I started. It was the time that I needed to start to be aware of what I was eating and eating better when I could. It was also the time needed to assess my grocery list and get some healthier choices into my fridge and pantry.

AND I did lose 1.6 pounds so that was a win!!!

We went for another walk last night. I am very proud of my cousin/walking partner for recognizing that she needs to get active, knowing her limitations, and realizing ahead of time that she was going to be busy today so that we needed to get the walk in last night. She has also planned our next walk for Friday!!! If I can help even one person work on their goals while I work on mine, then that is great!

Who on earth starts a "diet" when their team is in the playoffs though? Me. I fought the urge to order wings during the game, mostly because I already had a treat and was still "winning" on calories burned, but next game I may have to give in!

By the way, I don't actually like referring to it as a "diet". A diet is restrictive in food choices. Diet's are also temporary. I like to call it a "healthier lifestyle", or "healthy choices", or just "being a healthier me". I am not restrictive in what I eat. I may choose not to eat something, or to eat less of something that maybe isn't all that healthy, because, to be honest, I like food too much and I feel like restricting myself would definitely lead to failure.