I Can Do It

"Day one" was easy.  Hopefully to be followed by an easy day two, three, four, five, and so on.  And I ran! Well, actually, jogged, but to me that's running.  I had some numbness in my toes while I was running, but no pain.  I am trying to be very conscious of how my foot hits the ground but I will try my other insoles next time to see if it helps. I also refused a very-yummy-looking cupcake!  To me, this was a huge indication of my readiness as I had no regret and no temptation to go back for it. 

Tonight (day two) I do have some pain in my foot.  I am praying that it is some sort of residual pain and that it doesn't worsen like it did when I injured it.  I want to run!  If I can't run I will be devastated.  I know that sounds drastic, but I really want to do it!

I still feel confident that I am ready to continue my journey.  I can't let anything stand in my way.  I want to succeed, I need to succeed.   I want to be the best me I can be!!!

Another Day One

Yes, that's right, Monday will mark another day one.  This time it's serious.  It is time to get back into the swing of things.  I have seen how easy it was to be bad again, especially this last week.  I was super bad.  I'm ready. . .

I'm ready to be good again!

It's going to be hard.  I have been letting myself eat what I want, when I want to.  I have to be strict on myself and stick to the good stuff.  Lately, I just want to eat all the time.  I see some struggle in my near future.

Here is the most important part.  I'm gonna run.  Please, please let my foot be healed!  It feels okay and I plan to start slow so that I won't re injure or aggravate it again.  I am hoping that running is the solution to all of it!

I really hope the next time you hear from me that I will have good news to share.  If this doesn't work I am pretty confident that I will be feeling devastated.  I realize that "devastated" sounds extreme, but I really do believe that running is going to help put me back on the proper path.

And hopefully this will be the last "day one" I ever tell you about!!!

What Happens When I Eat Bad?

What happens when I eat bad?  A fantastic question!

I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm irritable.  I'm starting to get achy hips again.  Okay, all those things are actually quite normal for me, but I am sure they are more frequent and prevalent now.  I'm emotional!  Yes, I have always been an emotional person who cries easily, but it's waaaaaay worse now then it was when I was being good.

I have no doubt that my food choices contribute to these feelings but this is the part where I believe the exercise helps. . .I know I have said that you don't have to exercise to lose weight because I have lost weight without exercise. However, not only does the exercise help with losing weight but it helps me feel better overall.  As hard as I find it to run sometimes (my totally insane exercise of choice) it really does uplift me.  Look anywhere online and it will tell you: physical activity helps to elevate your mood.  Even if it's just a small amount of exercise.

SO. . .I'm not running, causing me to be tired, cranky, and irritable, therefore leading me to bad food choices, which in the circle of things make me feel tired, cranky, and irritable!  Ah-ha!  So when I run (exercise) I feel better about myself, therefore leading me to make better food choices so as not to undo the hard work I just did! 

We know I'm still going to eat the bad stuff but remember my favorite line: Everything in moderation.

I'm not sure that any of that actually makes sense, but what I am hoping is that once I return to running and eating better that all these things will go away!  Well, maybe they won't go away, but rather occur less frequently or less prominently.

I Want to Run

I know what it is that is pulling me down.  I NEED to exercise.  When I exercise I don't want to eat all the time.  When I'm done I may want to have a snack (sometimes bad), but usually I just want to be good.

I have never been a gym person.  I really have no interest in staying after work to use the gym either. I have thought about going to a gym outside of work, but I really can't see myself making that kind of commitment.

I want to run.

I still have some pain in my foot when I walk a small distance, but it is minor. I also get some numbness in my toes. I'm not sure what that signals.

I want to run.

"Two more weeks" I tell myself. Then I will start from scratch. This time I want to do the Couch to 10K.  It has been six weeks since I was injured so I figure that eight weeks should be long enough. The doctor recommended three but my research (and pain) indicated that was not long enough.  I probably should have seen a sports injury doctor.  Starting slow will help me determine if I really am ready.

I want to run.  

Who would have ever thought that those words would ever come out of my mouth? Certainly not me!

Stress Eating Does Exist

I've had some good days, I've had some bad days.  I have lost three of those regained pounds and maybe I would have lost them all if I had been better.  I'm not going to complain though, and hopefully by this time next week I can be down the rest. . .although Tom will be paying a visit around then.

I'm a stress eater.  I would guess that many people probably are but some people are probably better at controlling themselves.  Did you know that stress increases the hormone called cortisol?  Higher levels of cortisol can make you crave sweet and salty food.  If anyone tells you there is no such thing as "stress eating", they might not have experienced it, but it does exist.

This week has been stressful.  I was promoted into a new position at work without warning.  Everything will be fine, but the initial transition has been overwhelming.   This, of coarse, leads me to bad food choices. These bad choices are mine and I think it's important that I can recognize that I make the bad choices because if I were to stop acknowledging the bad choices this journey would be over and I would be headed back in the wrong direction.  Again, as long as I can maintain, I will be happy. 

Getting Back on Track

Since my injury I have been bad, very very bad.  I have done virtually no exercise and I have been eating mostly whatever I want.  At the beginning, even though I was eating what I wanted, I would still consciously think about what I was eating. So even if I was eating bad I wasn't totally bad. Then came holidays. . . and of course all the good habits went out the window.  At the end of it though, I realize that it is time to be good again and I am (mostly) ready to get to it.

Exercise? I still haven't figured out how I want to deal with that. For now I will stick to working on my food intake.  I have gained 4.4 pounds back. It's not the end of the world but I definitely don't want to let it get any worse.

Day one, it's hard. It's not like I haven't done this before. I just start thinking "HOW did I do this?"  It's now that I notice how quickly my calories are consumed in a day.  Really, it's the same as before, I just have to get back into good habits.  Tomorrow I will pick up some cucumbers and tomatoes which make really great snacks when you're running out of calories. I will also make a conscious effort to drink more water again because I have been slacking in that department as well.

 

Hopefully I will have what it takes to succeed. And hopefully I will be back here to visit sooner rather than later. If I'm back later then that probably means I have failed.

Failing

I'm having such a hard time recently.  It's my own fault for letting myself have a break (mind you, life lead me to that break).  I have certainly been lacking on commitment though.

 

I had, at least, returned to running.  For a week and a half anyway. Now, I am injured and told to rest my foot for three weeks.  I have a bone chip on my fourth metatarsal.  The doctor said he didn't want to cast it, thank goodness!  For now, it's just rest and ice and pain meds if needed. 

At least if I was eating bad, I was still getting my runs in, but now what?  I must get my eating under control!  That's what! I have to stop making excuses and just do it!!!

I am thinking about other options for exercise.  Maybe I have to think about using the gym at work but more likely I should revisit bicycling.  I still don't have a bike, nor do I really have the funds to purchase one right now (saving for holidays).  If I decide to ride, I may have to borrow my sons' again like I did last summer.  Hopefully it would be a bit easier now that I have been running.

I'll let you know. . .