Sometimes I Struggle

I did the twenty-two minute run.  Next is twenty-five.  I think I need to move the treadmill closer to the TV as it's not getting tired that bothers me, rather it's getting bored.  That's when I feel like I just want it to be over. I do listen to music and read while I run, but maybe watching a TV show might be better.

I'm still letting myself eat what I shouldn't or when I shouldn't.  Nothing super bad, no crazy binges, just more than I should.  I do want to lose more, but at the same time I have already done better than planned so maybe this internal argument when it comes to food is here to stay.  I know you're saying "self-discipline" but I'm not so great at that right now.

I've got some turmoil coming up in my day-to-day living in a couple of weeks also, and I am hoping that I can get through that while remaining somewhat on track. I will be out of routine during that time so the temptations to just grab-and-go will be constant.  I will do my best to keep good options available at all times.

Sometimes I feel like I'm writing too much about my struggles lately, but if you're just joining me you should know that it isn't always hard.  Reading back in my journey there have been struggles but where I am now wasn't as hard to get to as I would have thought either.  I have gone on for this long because there are always results from the struggles.  I may be at a stand-still in my weight-loss right now, but as long as I'm not gaining I still see it as a success.

Less Than Stellar

Well, my first five days of recommitment have been less than stellar.  Day one, which I mentioned earlier this week, was by far the best.  Day two was pre-planned self-sabotage. Day three was okay and I did my second run. Day four, um, not as good. And today, day five, two thumbs down. 

I want to be serious, I want to keep my goal in sight.  I won't let it slip away.  That is what's important.  As long as I don't slide backward it will be okay.

Tomorrow there will be another run, I'm hoping for twenty-two minutes with no walking break.  Hopefully I will also regain control of my willpower.  Aunt Flo has not been kind (not that she ever is) but hopefully that is the obstacle that I need to overcome this week.

Day One

Okay, not really.

Day one of getting back to things.  It was a good day! I did great with my food, I went for a run, and I was productive this evening.  

To ease back in to running, I started back on week 6 of Couch to 5k.  Day 1 is run five, walk three, run eight, walk three, run five.  Of coarse start and end with five minutes walking.  I forgot to warm up my arms (how quickly the warm up routine is forgotten) so I felt the pain in my shoulder joint again but I'll take care of that next time.

I have already pre planned sabotage for day two!  I invited my mom to Salisbury house tomorrow for dinner.  Yes, I do plan on having a yummy burger and fries! I guess this will be my bad day for the week, I do have to try to cut back to only one of those per week!

My productivity for the evening was making a quinoa salad.  This is only my second foray with quinoa.  It was rather time consuming preparing everything, but I'm looking forward to the end result for my lunch tomorrow.  Clean up is not my favorite productive activity though!

 

The finished product doesn't look as appetizing but my sampling tasted delicious.

A New Goal

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see a fat girl. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see a skinny girl.  Not skinny in the sense of being a stick, but skinny compared to where I used to be.  When I see the fat girl, I ask myself "If I see myself as fat now, how fat was I really before?"  

My point is that I don't really think I'm done.  I think I do have to aim for 160 even if it takes a long time to get there.  I am at 170 right now, and I should be happy, and I am. . .sort of, but I really do want to keep going.  Yes, I am publicly admitting to weighing 170 pounds! Yes, I am somewhat embarrassed by it. However, when I look at where I was and compare it to where I am now, it really was a huge accomplishment.  So, I don't care if it takes a whole year, I am setting 160 as my new goal!

 

P.S. For the record, I'm 5'5".

Still Not Running

Still not running. I know, I know. . .The longer I wait, the harder it's going to be to restart. I have lost the weight that I put on in Vegas. It was not much, a pound or two, and may have just been bloating from the change in eating habits. I am officially down 54 pounds. 55 is so close, I can feel it! So why am I not running?

Well I can use all the excuses in the world but in the end it boils down to being busy and lazy.  Up until last weekend I was so tired I actually felt like I'd been drinking!  My new position at work has been mentally exhausting while I learn everything. On top of that, my kids' extracurricular activities have kept me super busy many evenings.  Physically though, my foot and shin feel well so I could run if I was determined.

For now I am not gaining weight and still losing it slowly so I will not fret too much. Once the pace settles down though I will definitely need to get my ass in gear again, or more specifically, my feet!

I'm Back!

I'm back!  Or on my way back to normal at least. 

I went to Las Vegas last weekend and since I have been back I haven't been able to be consistent with eating or exercise. 

I started a new job two weeks ago and the training has been mentally exhausting, plus I missed two days when I was in Vegas which means I'm behind too.  Eating at work hasn't been bad though as there is no time!  I have been forgetting to take my vitamins there though and I have not been drinking enough water.  I have not necessarily eaten the best at home either.  

Exercise has been non-existent.  I'm not sure when I will get back to running.  With the amount of walking we did in Vegas, my tendonitis was super painful and has slowly been subsiding but it is not well enough to run on yet.  On top of that I got a shin splint!

I am hoping to get lots of rest this weekend so that I can get back into a groove next week.  Tomorrow I need to catch up on my household chores and get some groceries as my fridge is bare (except for a whole lot of cheese that I bought in the US).  I need to get some healthy choices in there.  And last, but not least, I hope to get back to running by mid-week.

Too Many Bad Days

Sliding. . .sliding. . .sliding. . .sliding.

Too many bad days happening and I can't stop.  I was bad today, not really bad, but bad enough when I know I have two bad days in a row around the corner.  I did not make the better choices today. . .and I chose the bad ones, the indulgent ones.  I have no one to blame but myself.

Tomorrow I will be good.  Tomorrow I will make better choices.  Tomorrow will be better.

 

As my "punishment" I will revise my first planned bad day, and I must follow through with that decision.  My second planned bad day will take place as planned because it's the one I have been waiting for!  It's getting together with a good friend (and our kids), eating somewhat bad, and planning our upcoming trip!

 

Here's the truth about my bad day today though. . .I chose to eat bad foods, and not in moderation as I usually encourage.  However the only real bad is that I will not have a so-called calorie deficit today.  By eating good food, being aware of portion sizes, and keeping the "bad" to a minimum (moderation) a person can usually get out of a day with a calorie deficit.  If you watch The Biggest Loser then you know that one pound of fat equals 3500 calories so the more often you can make it out of the day with a deficit, whether it be 100 calories or 500 calories, you are losing weight!

 

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