Day 4

Day 4 was a bit “easier” than any of my previous day 4’s I believe. Day 4 is usually when the seams start to unravel a bit, but this time they held together.

This afternoon there was a thought to reach for some candy...I selected a few 3 calorie mints instead of my usual gummies. This evening I found myself looking in the fridge but I quickly told myself that I wasn’t hungry and to walk away.

I haven’t incorporated any regular exercise yet, but I don’t see that as an issue. When I first lost weight, I started mainly with food-habits alone and it worked then so hopefully taking the same path as before will lead to similar results.

Day 3

Do you know what? I will do as many day threes as it takes. I will do as many day ones that it takes.

Just because your idea doesn’t go as planned doesn’t mean you should ever give up on it. So here I am starting over again but that’s okay. 

These first three days have gone great, and I expect tomorrow to go good as well, but I do worry as we approach the weekend. The weekend is when I usually slide because I lose the daily structure that guides me. Everything becomes random. For now, I am on the right path. 

Three days of a fairly similar meal plan has kept me on track, and I grabbed some more groceries today to be sure I have enough to see me through. They did sub my veggie dip for a higher calorie one, but remember that my motto is everything in moderation so I will measure out a single serving and I will still be able to factor those extra calories into my meal plan. 

My coworker was quite entertained by my pile of Tupperware at work today, but bringing my food saves me so many calories as I am a snacker. Having good snacks on hand is important. I also picked up some low calorie extra snacks to keep at work in case I forget to bring something. Be prepared. It’s an important part of this journey.

I AM a Disaster

When I crash and burn, I do it epically. I add fuel to the fire. I make it worse then it needs to be. 

I'm willing to bet that my weight has risen. I haven't been putting on the brakes, I have been binge eating and not stopping myself. I am always hungry and that is driving me crazy.

I am very down on myself. This muffin-top, spare-tire, whatever you call it, is growing. Yet I can't seem to remember how bad I feel when I binge.

On Monday I will start again. I have started to fill my fridge with healthy foods that I have to be sure to prepare and take to work next week. Healthy snacks need to be my binge food. If I have plenty of low-calorie, healthy choices within reach then it should hopefully be easy. Work has been a big part of my downfall because I tend to eat when I am bored and we are in our "slow" season.

I am also trying to remember the types of food and eating "schedule" that helped me when I originally lost the weight because if it worked before, hopefully it can work again.

I'm a Horrible Blogger/The Same Three Pounds

I'm a Horrible Blogger

I have been meaning to post for days. . .weeks really, but I get distracted doing something else and forget. That makes me a horrible blogger.

The Same Three Pounds

I was doing good. Never great, but good. I was talking myself out of those bad (food) decisions. And then I spiralled and I gained back the three pounds I had lost. 

So I lost them again, and then I gained them again.

Monday, I weighed in at exactly the same weight as I did when I started this on April 9th. Two months wasted. I know, I shouldn't think about it this way, but I could have been eating all the crap I wanted instead of going through this lose it/gain it cycle.

I am not ready to stop trying.

I will keep going. This isn't even a re-start, it's a continuation of my journey.

Once in a While

I have been doing great!

Until today.

I fell apart today.

You know what? It happens. I am not going to beat myself up.

Sometimes I recognize that I am not going to win the battle, and it's okay. Today I chose to give in to temptation rather then make myself miserable trying to fight. Why would I do that? It's just ONE day. Tomorrow is a new one and a new chance to get back on track and continue my healthier lifestyle. 

This journey will never be over. Even if I achieve a goal weight, there will always be bad days. What matters is that on most days I win the day.

Let's Talk About Moderation

I had ice cream today.

Why? Because I believe moderation is okay. Or at least it works for me.

I have the rest of the day ahead of me, so that just means I may have to make different choices later. That may mean a salad with dinner instead of a potato, or a smaller portion of something perhaps.

I had the ice cream at home where I could control the portion. One portion.

Let's talk about moderation. It may not work for everyone, but it works for me. If I want something "naughty", I have it, but I control my portions. For example, if the nutritional information says one serving equals one cup, I only eat one cup.  

If I want chocolate, I have chocolate. . .I may just eat 1/2 of the chocolate bar or have one piece of chocolate. If I want potato chips, I eat potato chips. . .I just have one serving. The best thing I own is a digital kitchen scale, then I can measure just one serving.  Moderation is key, if I deprive myself I feel like I will eventually snap and binge.

Yes, yesterday I denied myself ice cream, but I still had to look at the rest of the day and where I was in my daily goals. I had already had some "treats" so I couldn't "afford" anymore.

For me (and probably many other people) losing weight is in my head. Right now I am winning, but every day is a struggle. Every day that I can win against myself is one step closer to reaching my goals.

Me vs Me

Have you ever had an argument with yourself? I can't be the only one. They're usually quick. A decision is made and it's over. However I just had one for about 45 minutes while I drove my son across the city and came back home by myself.

ME: I’m hungry.

ALSO ME: No, you are not.

ME: I wonder if there’s an ice cream place somewhere on my route.

ALSO ME: You don’t need ice cream.

ME: Well, there’s a Dairy Queen on the way back, maybe I could go there. No one would know.

ALSO ME: I would know!!!

ME: I wonder if that place at The Forks is still open this late.

ALSO ME: No, it’s too late, it’s either closed or getting ready to close.

ME: I could just go check.

ALSO ME: I’m totally not paying for parking to check if it’s still open.

ME: Fine, where else could I go? There’s one if I take another route home, also probably closing soon, but they only take cash.

ALSO ME: {Checks pocket for change at red light} Ha! Not enough money, you/I have foiled your idea!

ME: {Still driving home} I wonder what that new place is that I heard about, I wonder if it’s an ice cream place.

ALSO ME: That’s totally out of the way, I am not checking.

ME: BUT I burned extra calories today.

ALSO ME: Yes, but how about I go for the calorie deficit! I have been doing so well for the last few days. Deficits leads to weight loss and I want to lose weight!

So I went home. No ice cream. The reasonable me won. Phew.