Getting Back on Track

Since my injury I have been bad, very very bad.  I have done virtually no exercise and I have been eating mostly whatever I want.  At the beginning, even though I was eating what I wanted, I would still consciously think about what I was eating. So even if I was eating bad I wasn't totally bad. Then came holidays. . . and of course all the good habits went out the window.  At the end of it though, I realize that it is time to be good again and I am (mostly) ready to get to it.

Exercise? I still haven't figured out how I want to deal with that. For now I will stick to working on my food intake.  I have gained 4.4 pounds back. It's not the end of the world but I definitely don't want to let it get any worse.

Day one, it's hard. It's not like I haven't done this before. I just start thinking "HOW did I do this?"  It's now that I notice how quickly my calories are consumed in a day.  Really, it's the same as before, I just have to get back into good habits.  Tomorrow I will pick up some cucumbers and tomatoes which make really great snacks when you're running out of calories. I will also make a conscious effort to drink more water again because I have been slacking in that department as well.

 

Hopefully I will have what it takes to succeed. And hopefully I will be back here to visit sooner rather than later. If I'm back later then that probably means I have failed.

Failing

I'm having such a hard time recently.  It's my own fault for letting myself have a break (mind you, life lead me to that break).  I have certainly been lacking on commitment though.

 

I had, at least, returned to running.  For a week and a half anyway. Now, I am injured and told to rest my foot for three weeks.  I have a bone chip on my fourth metatarsal.  The doctor said he didn't want to cast it, thank goodness!  For now, it's just rest and ice and pain meds if needed. 

At least if I was eating bad, I was still getting my runs in, but now what?  I must get my eating under control!  That's what! I have to stop making excuses and just do it!!!

I am thinking about other options for exercise.  Maybe I have to think about using the gym at work but more likely I should revisit bicycling.  I still don't have a bike, nor do I really have the funds to purchase one right now (saving for holidays).  If I decide to ride, I may have to borrow my sons' again like I did last summer.  Hopefully it would be a bit easier now that I have been running.

I'll let you know. . .

Sometimes I Struggle

I did the twenty-two minute run.  Next is twenty-five.  I think I need to move the treadmill closer to the TV as it's not getting tired that bothers me, rather it's getting bored.  That's when I feel like I just want it to be over. I do listen to music and read while I run, but maybe watching a TV show might be better.

I'm still letting myself eat what I shouldn't or when I shouldn't.  Nothing super bad, no crazy binges, just more than I should.  I do want to lose more, but at the same time I have already done better than planned so maybe this internal argument when it comes to food is here to stay.  I know you're saying "self-discipline" but I'm not so great at that right now.

I've got some turmoil coming up in my day-to-day living in a couple of weeks also, and I am hoping that I can get through that while remaining somewhat on track. I will be out of routine during that time so the temptations to just grab-and-go will be constant.  I will do my best to keep good options available at all times.

Sometimes I feel like I'm writing too much about my struggles lately, but if you're just joining me you should know that it isn't always hard.  Reading back in my journey there have been struggles but where I am now wasn't as hard to get to as I would have thought either.  I have gone on for this long because there are always results from the struggles.  I may be at a stand-still in my weight-loss right now, but as long as I'm not gaining I still see it as a success.

Less Than Stellar

Well, my first five days of recommitment have been less than stellar.  Day one, which I mentioned earlier this week, was by far the best.  Day two was pre-planned self-sabotage. Day three was okay and I did my second run. Day four, um, not as good. And today, day five, two thumbs down. 

I want to be serious, I want to keep my goal in sight.  I won't let it slip away.  That is what's important.  As long as I don't slide backward it will be okay.

Tomorrow there will be another run, I'm hoping for twenty-two minutes with no walking break.  Hopefully I will also regain control of my willpower.  Aunt Flo has not been kind (not that she ever is) but hopefully that is the obstacle that I need to overcome this week.

Day One

Okay, not really.

Day one of getting back to things.  It was a good day! I did great with my food, I went for a run, and I was productive this evening.  

To ease back in to running, I started back on week 6 of Couch to 5k.  Day 1 is run five, walk three, run eight, walk three, run five.  Of coarse start and end with five minutes walking.  I forgot to warm up my arms (how quickly the warm up routine is forgotten) so I felt the pain in my shoulder joint again but I'll take care of that next time.

I have already pre planned sabotage for day two!  I invited my mom to Salisbury house tomorrow for dinner.  Yes, I do plan on having a yummy burger and fries! I guess this will be my bad day for the week, I do have to try to cut back to only one of those per week!

My productivity for the evening was making a quinoa salad.  This is only my second foray with quinoa.  It was rather time consuming preparing everything, but I'm looking forward to the end result for my lunch tomorrow.  Clean up is not my favorite productive activity though!

 

The finished product doesn't look as appetizing but my sampling tasted delicious.

A New Goal

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see a fat girl. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see a skinny girl.  Not skinny in the sense of being a stick, but skinny compared to where I used to be.  When I see the fat girl, I ask myself "If I see myself as fat now, how fat was I really before?"  

My point is that I don't really think I'm done.  I think I do have to aim for 160 even if it takes a long time to get there.  I am at 170 right now, and I should be happy, and I am. . .sort of, but I really do want to keep going.  Yes, I am publicly admitting to weighing 170 pounds! Yes, I am somewhat embarrassed by it. However, when I look at where I was and compare it to where I am now, it really was a huge accomplishment.  So, I don't care if it takes a whole year, I am setting 160 as my new goal!

 

P.S. For the record, I'm 5'5".

Still Not Running

Still not running. I know, I know. . .The longer I wait, the harder it's going to be to restart. I have lost the weight that I put on in Vegas. It was not much, a pound or two, and may have just been bloating from the change in eating habits. I am officially down 54 pounds. 55 is so close, I can feel it! So why am I not running?

Well I can use all the excuses in the world but in the end it boils down to being busy and lazy.  Up until last weekend I was so tired I actually felt like I'd been drinking!  My new position at work has been mentally exhausting while I learn everything. On top of that, my kids' extracurricular activities have kept me super busy many evenings.  Physically though, my foot and shin feel well so I could run if I was determined.

For now I am not gaining weight and still losing it slowly so I will not fret too much. Once the pace settles down though I will definitely need to get my ass in gear again, or more specifically, my feet!