I’m Still Around

Hey all...if you like my story so far, I moved my journey to Instagram! 

I restarted again on July 16, 2020 and I am down 23 pounds. I am below my goal of 180.

Come join me over there if you like...

@mybigfatunmotivatedass

Struggling

I was doing okay, and then I wasn't.  This weekend I let myself fall apart with the intentions of getting back on track today. I planned well, but then ate a bigger than required dinner, with dessert. I was so full, but still ate the dessert. Now I sit here wanting to go eat junk! I'm not even hungry!

Drink the water.

Distract myself.

I was doing okay. Just okay. I only got down by two pounds, but still, it was two pounds. They came back.

I feel like I need to get back to exercising of course, but I have zero motivation. Sure, you can say "just go do it". People will say you have time to watch tv or write this post (or whatever), so that means you could be exercising instead. Here's the thing though. You have to actually go do it. When you are not in the right head space, you just don't do it. Say what you want. I. Don't. Want. To. Do. It. Do you think I don't know what needs to be done?

Excuse my vent. I am frustrated with myself. I am hoping that when nicer weather arrives that it will help me to not want to just sit on the couch and hibernate.

So please, don't ever be one of "those people". Know that we know what needs to be done and just chose not to do it.

Why Are We So Hard On Ourselves

Late post...I wrote this 2 days ago but haven’t posted yet. I was waiting to edit it on a laptop, but since I haven’t gotten around to it, I’m posting from my phone.

02/09/20

I felt like a failure. All week I did as best as I could to start getting on track to take my vitamins and drink my water. My eating was great, coming in under my “allowed” calories daily. Then I stepped on the scale. I gained 1/2 pound.

I felt deflated. I spent all that time being “good” only to end with bad results.

Why can’t we look at ourselves the way we look at other people? If you had come to me and told me that was your week, my response would have been “it’s okay”. You see, there’s a another week ahead to do better, to be better.

So, my goals for the next week are to continue working on the habits that I want to build.  

My Apologies

I admit it. I am not dedicated enough to have a blog! Most of the time, I either don't have anything to say, or forget completely. I am not a blogger. I started this back in 2012 as a diary and I did really good at that time but I failed long ago.

Lots of ups and downs (weight wise, life wise, and so on) have happened. I'm just not good at writing about it. I have my Facebook group and I track on My Fitness Pal. That's about the extent of my effort. 

So here I am, yet another day one. I'm not sure if I am ready. 

I have told you a million times that you have to be ready. There's a difference between thinking you're ready and actually being ready. Thinking you're ready lets you be good for a day, or a few days, or a week, or a few weeks, but then when you fall apart, you don't get back on track. With actually being ready, when you fall apart for a day or two, you get back on track.

I am starting with good intensions. I know that sometimes I will have to convince myself to do things that I really don't want to.

What am I concentrating on at the moment? 

• Water. I have a reminder in my phone to drink water. I take 8 gulps then snooze it for an hour. 
• Green tea. Green tea is good for you in many ways. (See: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/top-10-evidence-based-health-benefits-of-green-tea). 
• Vitamins and probiotics. Vitamins help to keep me healthy, and probiotics help improve my gut health. (See: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/probiotics-and-weight-loss#section3) 

Even if these don't actually help with weight loss, they will at least help me be healthy. In the end, it's health that matters.

Every Now and Then I Fall Apart

24 days of awesomeness and I undid it all this weekend. It's like once I start sliding, I can't get my grip back. Tomorrow is a new day and I must get back on track.

No matter what, I know that I need to make bigger changes. I saw a picture of me from six years ago and I would have considered myself "skinny". I know I need to do more to get back there again. By more I mean that I either have to cut calories, or exercise more.

AAAAARGH!!!!!

If I try to cut calories, then I get too hungry. However, I am not motivated to exercise. 

While I don't know which step I will take next, I will continue to do my best to stay/get back on track.

So Far, So Good

I am amazed at myself and how well I did last week! I didn't fall apart on the weekend either! Today (day 8) is actually the first day I had an evening treat. It did take me beyond my goal calories for the day, but if my Fitbit is correct-ish, then I had a few extra to spare.

I lost two pounds. It seems so small, yet I know it is not. And really, if I can lose even a pound a week, all those pounds add up! Or in this case subtract!

I still haven't figured out my fitness plan, but I have started with a thirty minute walk each night for the last three days at least. Walking is the current plan really, but the details of times and frequency have to be ironed out. Really though, what's thirty minutes of the day? Just a tiny portion really. There's no reason to not fit it in most of the time.

Today is a holiday here in Canada. Canada Day to be exact. In Manitoba, that means grocery stores are closed so I was sure to get my groceries so that I had no excuses to not succeed. Planning is important. I wasn't making that a priority, so it's one more thing that I have to stay on top of. And really, with online grocery ordering for pickup, it's so easy!!!

Day 4

Day 4 was a bit “easier” than any of my previous day 4’s I believe. Day 4 is usually when the seams start to unravel a bit, but this time they held together.

This afternoon there was a thought to reach for some candy...I selected a few 3 calorie mints instead of my usual gummies. This evening I found myself looking in the fridge but I quickly told myself that I wasn’t hungry and to walk away.

I haven’t incorporated any regular exercise yet, but I don’t see that as an issue. When I first lost weight, I started mainly with food-habits alone and it worked then so hopefully taking the same path as before will lead to similar results.