I Want to Run

I know what it is that is pulling me down.  I NEED to exercise.  When I exercise I don't want to eat all the time.  When I'm done I may want to have a snack (sometimes bad), but usually I just want to be good.

I have never been a gym person.  I really have no interest in staying after work to use the gym either. I have thought about going to a gym outside of work, but I really can't see myself making that kind of commitment.

I want to run.

I still have some pain in my foot when I walk a small distance, but it is minor. I also get some numbness in my toes. I'm not sure what that signals.

I want to run.

"Two more weeks" I tell myself. Then I will start from scratch. This time I want to do the Couch to 10K.  It has been six weeks since I was injured so I figure that eight weeks should be long enough. The doctor recommended three but my research (and pain) indicated that was not long enough.  I probably should have seen a sports injury doctor.  Starting slow will help me determine if I really am ready.

I want to run.  

Who would have ever thought that those words would ever come out of my mouth? Certainly not me!

Stress Eating Does Exist

I've had some good days, I've had some bad days.  I have lost three of those regained pounds and maybe I would have lost them all if I had been better.  I'm not going to complain though, and hopefully by this time next week I can be down the rest. . .although Tom will be paying a visit around then.

I'm a stress eater.  I would guess that many people probably are but some people are probably better at controlling themselves.  Did you know that stress increases the hormone called cortisol?  Higher levels of cortisol can make you crave sweet and salty food.  If anyone tells you there is no such thing as "stress eating", they might not have experienced it, but it does exist.

This week has been stressful.  I was promoted into a new position at work without warning.  Everything will be fine, but the initial transition has been overwhelming.   This, of coarse, leads me to bad food choices. These bad choices are mine and I think it's important that I can recognize that I make the bad choices because if I were to stop acknowledging the bad choices this journey would be over and I would be headed back in the wrong direction.  Again, as long as I can maintain, I will be happy. 

Getting Back on Track

Since my injury I have been bad, very very bad.  I have done virtually no exercise and I have been eating mostly whatever I want.  At the beginning, even though I was eating what I wanted, I would still consciously think about what I was eating. So even if I was eating bad I wasn't totally bad. Then came holidays. . . and of course all the good habits went out the window.  At the end of it though, I realize that it is time to be good again and I am (mostly) ready to get to it.

Exercise? I still haven't figured out how I want to deal with that. For now I will stick to working on my food intake.  I have gained 4.4 pounds back. It's not the end of the world but I definitely don't want to let it get any worse.

Day one, it's hard. It's not like I haven't done this before. I just start thinking "HOW did I do this?"  It's now that I notice how quickly my calories are consumed in a day.  Really, it's the same as before, I just have to get back into good habits.  Tomorrow I will pick up some cucumbers and tomatoes which make really great snacks when you're running out of calories. I will also make a conscious effort to drink more water again because I have been slacking in that department as well.

 

Hopefully I will have what it takes to succeed. And hopefully I will be back here to visit sooner rather than later. If I'm back later then that probably means I have failed.

Failing

I'm having such a hard time recently.  It's my own fault for letting myself have a break (mind you, life lead me to that break).  I have certainly been lacking on commitment though.

 

I had, at least, returned to running.  For a week and a half anyway. Now, I am injured and told to rest my foot for three weeks.  I have a bone chip on my fourth metatarsal.  The doctor said he didn't want to cast it, thank goodness!  For now, it's just rest and ice and pain meds if needed. 

At least if I was eating bad, I was still getting my runs in, but now what?  I must get my eating under control!  That's what! I have to stop making excuses and just do it!!!

I am thinking about other options for exercise.  Maybe I have to think about using the gym at work but more likely I should revisit bicycling.  I still don't have a bike, nor do I really have the funds to purchase one right now (saving for holidays).  If I decide to ride, I may have to borrow my sons' again like I did last summer.  Hopefully it would be a bit easier now that I have been running.

I'll let you know. . .

Sometimes I Struggle

I did the twenty-two minute run.  Next is twenty-five.  I think I need to move the treadmill closer to the TV as it's not getting tired that bothers me, rather it's getting bored.  That's when I feel like I just want it to be over. I do listen to music and read while I run, but maybe watching a TV show might be better.

I'm still letting myself eat what I shouldn't or when I shouldn't.  Nothing super bad, no crazy binges, just more than I should.  I do want to lose more, but at the same time I have already done better than planned so maybe this internal argument when it comes to food is here to stay.  I know you're saying "self-discipline" but I'm not so great at that right now.

I've got some turmoil coming up in my day-to-day living in a couple of weeks also, and I am hoping that I can get through that while remaining somewhat on track. I will be out of routine during that time so the temptations to just grab-and-go will be constant.  I will do my best to keep good options available at all times.

Sometimes I feel like I'm writing too much about my struggles lately, but if you're just joining me you should know that it isn't always hard.  Reading back in my journey there have been struggles but where I am now wasn't as hard to get to as I would have thought either.  I have gone on for this long because there are always results from the struggles.  I may be at a stand-still in my weight-loss right now, but as long as I'm not gaining I still see it as a success.

Less Than Stellar

Well, my first five days of recommitment have been less than stellar.  Day one, which I mentioned earlier this week, was by far the best.  Day two was pre-planned self-sabotage. Day three was okay and I did my second run. Day four, um, not as good. And today, day five, two thumbs down. 

I want to be serious, I want to keep my goal in sight.  I won't let it slip away.  That is what's important.  As long as I don't slide backward it will be okay.

Tomorrow there will be another run, I'm hoping for twenty-two minutes with no walking break.  Hopefully I will also regain control of my willpower.  Aunt Flo has not been kind (not that she ever is) but hopefully that is the obstacle that I need to overcome this week.

Day One

Okay, not really.

Day one of getting back to things.  It was a good day! I did great with my food, I went for a run, and I was productive this evening.  

To ease back in to running, I started back on week 6 of Couch to 5k.  Day 1 is run five, walk three, run eight, walk three, run five.  Of coarse start and end with five minutes walking.  I forgot to warm up my arms (how quickly the warm up routine is forgotten) so I felt the pain in my shoulder joint again but I'll take care of that next time.

I have already pre planned sabotage for day two!  I invited my mom to Salisbury house tomorrow for dinner.  Yes, I do plan on having a yummy burger and fries! I guess this will be my bad day for the week, I do have to try to cut back to only one of those per week!

My productivity for the evening was making a quinoa salad.  This is only my second foray with quinoa.  It was rather time consuming preparing everything, but I'm looking forward to the end result for my lunch tomorrow.  Clean up is not my favorite productive activity though!

 

The finished product doesn't look as appetizing but my sampling tasted delicious.